a member

From time to time, I still think about my former relationship. I mean, it's been over a year but here's the context. I know there's a thing known as a trauma bond, and this is exactly what it is. My x was a fearful avoidant, and I happened to be nice enough that he became really attached and then became really scared. He tried pushing me away so I begged on my knees until he really cut it off. Then, he got in a relationship with someone who I think is a dismissive avoidant. After a month he already tried reaching out. Now it's been over a year, and he has already done a lot of stuff like using his friends account to stalk me because I had him blocked, trying to drop breadcrumbs of him missing me such as making references from the past. I don't get it, I mean. I feel bad? I know he's traumatized and I don't have feelings for him anymore but I really loved him before and I took care of him. I know it's not a health rs because I was literally like a mom to his inhaled inner child. I THROW UP when I see him, I shake when I see him and all sorts of other stuff but when I'm alone I just think of what we could have been. It's been exactly 4 months since he has spied on me actively, and then now only passive breadcrumbing. I know he'll try again, but I just don't know how to feel. I mean, I'm 95% healed now, it's just that I shake when I see him but I don't know. I think about him from time to time, but I wish I'd do so less. I know I would someday but idk, is this normal? He's still doing stuff that he thinks will win me over