a member

Hi! I'm new and kinda nervous but here we go. I'm currently in my 3rd year nursing and guess I'm in deep trouble. I'm not well, mentally super, extreme, physically maybe? Emotionally terrible!! I'm having a bit panic attack on what if I will failed this semester, I get low scores, I'm into bad habits now, and depressed about it. Not the kind of substance use but the type to like suddenly withdraw from anyone, always in my room and like always always compare and doubt myself, did I sound gibberish or like am I making a point?I don't know I just want to know like should I stopped but I already get this far and I'm not from a well off family, my parents gaved everything and I really can't stop right now what should I do?? Every demonstration, quizz, exam and reporting I ALWAYS DOUBT myself, now we are currently in our first week of duty and 3 days pass I didn't do much as we don't have much patients but today I still get low scores well it's because I didn't study but even if I study I still can't get it.I'M LOSING MYSELF!!help!! In this normal? Or am I the abnormal one?? I am fully aware I need a psychiatry's help but guess what we don't have the money, and even if there are counseling at my school hahahaha well no I don't want drama since we're a small private school things gets out really fast...LIKE I LOVE NURSING, I CHOOSE THIS, MY PARENTS EVEN FOUGHT TO EACH OTHER JUST FOR THEM TO ACTUALLY AGREE TO ME.i like helping people, but what if I'm not cut out for this?? What if I'm weak? Pathetic? I always forgets the normal ranges whenever our clinical instructors assigned roles to us I always and still right now scared.....I'm losing it...I don't know is this what adults or any students at college feel??? I can't afford to fail not my scholarship, not my consistent dean list spot or my grades, or even if the possible future of NLE what is wrong with me??? I'm procrastinating when I'M FULLY AWARE THAT I NEED TO IMPROVE BUT I'M TOO DEPRESSION OR LAZY OR INSECURE I had a cousin who is also a nursing student, smart and pretty, like sh*t WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO???