a member

I have never felt sadness when those I know struck misfortune. Not once have I felt bad for someone even when family members have died. I didn't even feel bad when my mother died, I actually felt happy she did. I know what I felt was incredibly wrong and shameful but I have never felt reasons to grieve yet every time I'm mad or arguing I start to cry. It starts when I'm mad only and even when I realized and try to stop it doesn't for a while. I watch my dad cry for family before, seen my friends cry when their stressed and upset, yet I myself have never felt the urge to cry despite having good reasons to. I'm scared of how this will affect my life when I start a properly serious relationship or in a profession that has me being emotionally empathetic with my lack of understanding of negative emotions.