When I told her about the abuse, and she didn't seem believe me

(Context: TC stands for 'Treatment center' The abuse occured when I was 16) Things staff at TC told me messes with me so much. I feel insecure every day over things I can't control. I question what is and is fake, and if it's all just in my head... My last post, I talked about how helpless I feel realizing my only support I have left doesn't seem to believe me. She says that our generation was babied, that it was normal for people to tell you to "get over it". I don't think she understood how afraid I was. How she didn't get the hint of how flinchy I became at TC, how I suddenly didn't want to be touched by others. How I cried for her not to leave, and how I would start to cry when she had to bring me back. At one point my boi dad saw a bruise on my arm, while visiting me. I told him it was from a shot... It wasn't. I sometimes wonder if things could have been different if I told him the truth. The staff at TC left bruises on me on many occasions. Many of the incidents of abuse happened in a large blind spot between the bathrooms and the front desk area... I hate myself everyday. I can't function like a regular human being. I have so much anxiety in my everyday life, my goals feel impossible, I feel like I will never reach my full potential. I'm afraid to took people in the eyes unless I know they won't hurt me, I am afraid of commitment, I can't even follow up on simple things, like finding employment because I question my worth. I feel like my purpose has been destroyed. I don't know how to say it, How to describe it... I just feel like my abilities are limited, I am afraid of evey person knowing what I am; or at least what I was relentlessly told I was. Manipulative, sick, attention seeking, dangerous, delusional, psychotic. I'm afraid that if people look me in the eyes, that they will know what I've been through. I'm terrified everyday that those people meant what they threatened if I spoke out like I have. I wish I could wake up and this was all a sick dream