Love and Family (somehow both daddy and mommy) Issues

I love and hate love. Oftentimes I feel so strongly and make fake scenarios in my head. But in real life I'm scared to have a relationship, but really want to try just to f around and find out and get over the fear. I'm scared of hurting others with a lack of commitment, but I can't stomach a long relationship. I plan to have an unserious one once I get into uni, of course mutual (I'll be upfront about it). I'm scared it'll go too well and it'll be a forever thing..I don't really want it to be... This might stem from unstable family relationships. My parents divorced when I was really young (below 5), my mom remarried and I fought with her about my stepdad at times, but mostly my relationship with him was okay. I loved him like family. Then they broke up because he cheated