I miss the way she made me feel

Months ago (last year), I started having su1c1d4l thoughts and felt completely useless. I already had a date in mind, but on December 31st I started talking to someone. She was a very kind and beautiful girl. We became friends, and I stopped having those thoughts. Instead, I thought about her all day. I had never had friends before, nor had I ever felt such a strong connection with someone. I felt incredibly happy. But on April 28th, she blocked me out of nowhere, without saying a single word. I felt horrible and devastated when I saw it. Honestly, I still do. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to her again and feel like I matter to someone. I want to feel loved again, but because of the way I am, socializing is very difficult for me, and making friends feels impossible. That's why I cared about her so much. What should I do? Forget her? That would be impossible for me. I don't know what to do. I want to cry. I miss her so much. I miss the way she made me feel.