I'm scared to tell anyone my thoughts.

After my toddler cousin barged into my room to see me cutting, it makes me feel like the horrid person for letting her be subjected to such a sight. That being, makes me feel like worse of a person than I already paint myself to be. I could never tell my mother. She'd think I'm dramatically going through a depressed teen phase. That belief being why my late brother committed suicide. It makes me scared to tell her anything about my feelings. It feels strange enough to tell the internet before a relative, my parent at that, but I just don't feel safe telling her at all. Sorry if this is weird for a first post.