No one to my side

And as always, I'm alone. To one's surprise I'm by myself. No friends, no partner's, not even online friendships to speak of. All roads lead back to isolation and depriving myself of any human connection. What I've evolutioned to crave with my soul and more is always unfulfilled. I am no one and will never be anyone. Because I'm not charming, because I'm not handsome, because because. Because... I've noticed my perception of the world is quite different from other's, with time and multiple unsuccessful interactions. "I actually meant this even though I said this other thing" kept happening over and over, even through text. People's intention aren't clear and I'm always the stupid, naive, and dumb one. Because I couldn't figure out they were hitting on me whilst saying they had no romantic feelings or intentions of dating me. Because the insideous teasing was friendliness. Because everything is upside down and I never understand what everyone means or wants. I know I'm stupid, I know I'm not clever, and you do too so why do you keep doing this over and over again just to spite me. I don't understand any of you. And so I'll live eternally alone. Estranged by everything and everyone, its not like I want to need anyone. It's not like I want to crave friends and people. I never wished to be born a human. I never wished to be born into a social society in which you depend entirely on how well you engage with others, how charming you are despite being a psychopath. Because everything is always just about appearances. My birth was meaningless and so will my death No one will mourn me everyone will forget me. I will never leave a mark in this horrible world And if anyone were to know, they'd be glad I'mgone