Silence

I wish it felt like people still liked me and wanted to talk I wish that someone just once would ask ME to hang out All my friends are in this big discord server And they always ask eachother to play games Or go out and do something Or even just talk But they never include me My partner always say I have to be the one to reach out to the others But if they care wouldnt they ask why I haven't said anything in months or say hi if they cared My partner is part of the problem to Whenever I ask if we can call they always forget We rarely ever get to talk or spend time together because I live out of town We get only a few hours most days where we're not both busy But everytime we have a day off at the same time i always schedual a call And then they forget And they never ask if we can call either I wish just once theyd be the one to ask or remember I wish it didnt feel like pulling teeth to get them to talk to me about anything Even over text But whenever its their best friend they ALWAYS remember They always immediately jump onto what ever shes doing They say I can still talk to them when they do stuff But everytime I actually try I get left on read for hours Every single time I wish the others would invite me to something again Just once They always hang out together Or play games Or just talk But they never ask me to join They never ask me to hang out Even over a call I haven't been asked in months Even my best friend who doesn't know my other friends because hes in a different school dosnt really talk to me He has mental health struggles and I want to be there for him I want to talk to him even if its just a normal conversation about nothing But he always says hes fine And its not just my close friends Even my less close friends dont ever talk to me And they always deadname me even though they know I dont go by that Is it because I did something Am I just unlikeable Is that why no one talks to me Its so lonely here Why do none of my friends seem to care